Trauma Doesn't Make You Stronger

 I used to have a stunning memory when I was younger. I was able to memorize insane amounts of pointless information like the flags of all European countries, but also some very useful stuff like what the deadline for the most recent Finnish and literature assignment was. As a Kid, I had my classmates come to me for homework – not in the way that I'd do it for them, but in the way that I'd remind them of the pages and exercises we were supposed to complete for our next math lesson.  Like many other artists, I also have a primarily visual memory. I remember places, scenes from my life like it was a movie I'd watched. I remember things I have seen – even the majority of my traumatic memories have to do with the setting the events took place in. I remember the classroom of my elementary years so well, every single detail, down to the pens resting on the rail below the whiteboard. I remember what the hallway looked like when I was standing there, waiting for one of my Friends t...

 They say that time starts to go by faster as you get older. The general explanation for this phenomenon seems to be how you start to get accustomed to life and the way it works: you form your personal routines that consist of getting up in the morning, eating, taking care of your hygiene, going to work or school and the like. Every passing day is kind of the same, unlike when you were a child, everything was so new and exciting, the world was waiting for you to explore it. Every time you went to school, you learned something new, and each day was its own special experience. You were eagerly waiting for the holiday season to roll around, just to see what kind of presents you get this year and how the nature around you might change her clothes from the summer green to autumn yellow and eventually winter snow white. In a lot of ways, children are the only group of people who seem to consistently appreciate the small things in life, the beauty of nature, the way fire crackles in the f...

 This update has definitely been a long time coming. I feel like I have kind of neglected this blog and my writing recently, which is why I haven't been making Life Update posts as frequently as I should have. Because there has definitely been a lot going on in my life, both terrible things and amazing things. This time, we are talking about the amazing ones – at last. I have been seeing a nurse regularly almost every week since the beginning of August. I love my nurse, she's lovely, very easy to talk to, and above all, extremely competent to treat people like me. I have nothing but good things to say about her, and seeing her every week has definitely helped me feel better in the midst of my symptom-ridden everyday life.  The nurse's appointments were the first step in my proper treatment plan. The next step was a doctor's appointment – with a doctor specializing in the treatment of teenagers and young adults. I have met a lot of psychiatrists in my life, and I can wit...

 I don't like to think of myself as one of those people who have arguments with people on the internet all the time. I don't enjoy arguing with anyone, and even debating is sometimes too much for me. I tend to stay away from heated conversation topics because my weak mind can't handle the pressure and stress of keyboard fighting. It is the main reason I have left various online communities in my time.  But I guess we all have our exceptions to our rules. Bullying. A word I have been so afraid of for the majority of my life, and a word that has become an integral part of my identity and life experiences. It's a word I find myself gravitating towards, a noun I can't seemingly escape. Whether it be on social media, on forums, in the news, or everyday life, I hear that word somewhere almost daily. And as many as there are instances and scenarios for its use, there are as many meanings and definitions for it.  The most typical argument I end up having with people online...