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Showing posts from November, 2022

The Hurt Once Caused Is The Hurt Of Every Single Day After Today

 Trauma survivors are often called things like 'dwellers' by people who don't understand what having mental trauma actually means. "Don't dwell on the past, you should focus on the present!" "I mean yeah, the fact that that happened to you sucks, but why are you so focused on something that is in the past? You can't change it." You know those sentences, you've heard them hundreds of times. The idea that you could still be hurting because of something that happened to you years ago is very foreign to people who've had the fortune of not having to deal with immense amounts of trauma in their childhood. But for some reason, these are also the people who claim to know the most about your situation. When they aren't downright victimblaming the traumatized, they're treating the post-traumatic symptoms as something that the person themself is responsible for. That it's a conscious decision to stay stuck on events that took place year

But Who's To Blame?

 The world is unjust, we all know that – especially those of us who've had to suffer more than most people. It is really hard to find justice in a world that is so divided, polarized, filled with so much evil and malice. But sometimes, that is not good enough of a reason for us. Sometimes we need more than that, a guilty party, someone to put the blame on. When it comes to abuse, the one who should be blamed for their terrible actions is always the abuser. They have wronged you, they have hurt you, done unjustified things to you because they were abusing their power over you. It's a power play, a competition between a rookie and a champion. But why are you having that competition in the first place? What made the abuser choose you? There has to be a reason for their actions. They could have chosen anyone else, anyone in the family, in the workplace, in the classroom. So why were you the one they aimed for? All survivors of abuse go through a phase of self-blame. Depending on th

Life Update: Love Crossing Borders

 Hello again. The first post of November is a kind of a life update, following the almost three-week break I took of writing and making art. Posts like this won't become a regular occurrence: my focus isn't really to go over the current events of my life, but whenever a little explanation is required, like in the face of a sudden hiatus, I will be giving you a tiny update on what I have been up to recently. You will find all posts like this one under the label ' life updates' . Pretty much all of November up until yesterday I spent with my girlfriend who I hadn't seen in six months. She lives in the United States, and because I live in Finland, our relationship is as long-distance as it gets. I visited her last May, and this was her second time visiting me in Finland. This is not the way things will stay for us though, because she is planning on moving to Finland relatively soon, possibly during the next year. There are several reasons for that decision, and I am no