Life Update: Finally

 This update has definitely been a long time coming. I feel like I have kind of neglected this blog and my writing recently, which is why I haven't been making Life Update posts as frequently as I should have. Because there has definitely been a lot going on in my life, both terrible things and amazing things. This time, we are talking about the amazing ones – at last.

I have been seeing a nurse regularly almost every week since the beginning of August. I love my nurse, she's lovely, very easy to talk to, and above all, extremely competent to treat people like me. I have nothing but good things to say about her, and seeing her every week has definitely helped me feel better in the midst of my symptom-ridden everyday life. 

The nurse's appointments were the first step in my proper treatment plan. The next step was a doctor's appointment – with a doctor specializing in the treatment of teenagers and young adults. I have met a lot of psychiatrists in my life, and I can without a single doubt in my mind say that this elderly man was the best one out of all of them. He was so easily approachable, he asked me just the right questions, and what's more, is that he made me feel seen and validated. He validated my trauma, my symptoms, my illnesses, and officially declared me unfit for any work. He stated that according to his evaluation, I am incapable of having a full-time job, and in my recovery/treatment, I have to focus on getting myself to the point of being able to live an independent life. Work is not the goal here; it is solely my well-being. 

The doctor also diagnosed me with co-morbid dissociative disorder. According to his evaluation, my dissociation is the biggest culprit in my disabled state, that the symptoms are so severe they qualify for a separate diagnosis. This was literally the first time a health care professional has actually cared about my dissociation to this extent! That made me the happiest I had been in a while.

appointment.

After seeing the doctor, I was put on the waiting list for Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), the main therapy form used to treat BPD. I was expecting to be on the list for several months, maybe even a year, but things worked out in my favor this time – surprisingly. In October, I was invited to an interview for DBT; an interview where I met the nurses responsible for the treatment program. They asked me various questions relating to my health, and a few weeks later, I got a message that I had been chosen for the program. 

The program is 17 weeks long, and it's staring on the 23rd of November. It consists of group and individual sessions, and there's going to be a workbook given to us as studying material. We are quite literally studying how to help ourselves live with this illness. I love studying so much, I miss university, so this is perfect for me! I am super excited to start DBT, I am going to be updating how everything is going in Life Update posts as the program goes on. You can find everything DBT-related under the label 'DBT', and everything in relation to my treatment as a whole under the label 'treatment'. 

I'm also going to be eligible for sick pension starting from February. I know this should make me upset or sad (I am 23 and going on pension), but I am only relieved and happy. Finally I am seen as a disabled and chronically ill person who is unable to work full-time because of their illnesses. Finally I am recognized as something more than a depressed teenager. I have waited for so long for this, it brings tears to my eyes to think about the fact that I no longer have to wait. I am on the way toward treatment and recovery.

One more thing! I am going to be seeing a GP next week for my somatic symptoms. My psychiatrist said I should get assessed for fibromyalgia and any other possible psycho-somatic conditions. My somatic symptoms have been getting progressively worse, and at this point, they are completely uncontrollable. I hope they'll be able to figure out what's up with all of that.

Until next time,

ichigonya