Trauma Doesn't Make You Stronger

 Childhood trauma changes everything about us. It paves the path for the rest of our lives, which makes it almost impossible to "just let go of it", like so many always keep telling us. The abuse you face in your early years forever alters the way your brain develops and functions, not only for the time being, but also for your adulthood. Your childhood will always stay with you, no matter if it was good or bad. Especially prolonged childhood trauma has a long-lasting effect on the way your brain works. If the abuse had started when you were barely old enough to go to school, your brain is going to be wired according to that, simply because it has never known anything better. The abuse is the norm for you, and so the trauma that is caused by that abuse also becomes the norm. The survival mechanisms that have been activated in your undeveloped child brain will become part of its everyday cognitive functions, and that will further continue to be the case even when the abuse is ...

 Discrimination comes in various shapes and sizes, and I am no stranger to quite a few of them. Being a member of several marginalized communities, I have faced all kinds of bigotry in my time. Granted, I do want to make it clear that I have had it relatively easy when it comes to discrimination like homophobia, mainly because of my very loving and accepting family. In some ways, I have been lucky in these experiences, especially when compared to some of my loved ones. Though, that doesn't mean that I have been completely let out of the hook.  The first time I heard the word "retard"   and its Finnish equivalents was not when it was directed toward me. To my recollection, it was the late 2000s, and that was a time when it was generally accepted and even encouraged among kids to use this ableist slur to describe themselves, their friends, and anyone who just was a bit different. I am pretty sure for me, it was one of those instances. The word really started to mean somethi...

 Weak. That is a word I've heard people describe me with for all my life. I can't recall the first time it happened, but it must have been pretty early on, maybe in kindergarten already. Weakness and sensitivity have – at least for me – almost been each other's synonyms. They're sisters, very close ones too. Overly sensitive people get labeled as weak because of their emotional reactions to things that others can just "brush off" and "not take so seriously".  Don't take everything so personally. Learn to take a joke.  There's a lot of 'taking' involved in these phrases that have been thrown my way. It is always me who must take things a certain way, or not take them at all. This has always been a problem for me. Why must I always be the one to take the words and actions of other people in a way they want me to take them? Why is that always my responsibility? When does it become my fault that others have abused me, hurt me, violated me...