Observing Eyes

 I never understood why it mattered to them so much. If they truly hated being there just as much as I did, why did they spend all that energy on worrying about things that didn't involve them in any way? If they wanted to get out of there as much as I did, why did they choose to linger around and steal glances any more than was absolutely necessary or appropriate? 

Granted, I have come to realize that the way these kinds of people think and operate is completely outside of the realm of my understanding or comprehension. It's like their wave length is so far beyond my reach that it is futile for me to even try to reach that frequency. But that doesn't stop me from trying, because the reasons for their actions always seem to be so obvious to everyone else – everyone who wasn't even involved in the situation.

So why am I struggling so much to understand even a smidgen of it?

But my inability to understand is not a new thing. These things baffled me back then, and even today, I'm in that same old spot. Some parts of me might have developed earlier than theirs, but I guess some others never got to where theirs were at the ripe age of eleven. Something tells me that can be a good thing in this instance, but the hurt inside of me tells me otherwise. And I don't know which one of them is the more important one; the way I feel internally, or the way the outside world feels about it.

showers 1.

I hated swimming lessons. You hated swimming lessons. I hated going to the showering area of the public pool. You hated going to the showering area of the public pool. I hated going to the sauna with you and unfamiliar elderly retired ladies. You hated going to the sauna with me and unfamiliar elderly retired ladies. I hated seeing my naked body in the mirroring reflections of the glass doors. You hated seeing your and my naked body in the mirroring reflections of the glass doors. 

So why did you stop and stare?

Confused,

ichigonya