Your Trauma Is Valid

 Isn't it funny how people who don't know you and your story seem to have the strongest opinions on your life? It is always those who think they know better than they do who feel the need to let you know that, in fact, your traumatic experiences are not "real abuse". For years, I struggled to understand why this kept on happening to me, no matter the circumstances. People who have met me once make insane assumptions on my trauma based on nothing – or at least, that's what it always felt like to me. 

Today, I think I finally understand what those people use as a baseline for this evaluation. 

The overwhelming lack of awareness and knowledge on the real meaning of 'bullying' as a descriptor of abuse is the problem here. Whenever I voice my concerns on the traumatizing nature of bullying as a specific form of abuse, I am almost always, without a fail, met with some variation of the following statement:

"Bullying is not real abuse."

final argument.

Bullying does not mean "harmless and consensual banter". Bullying does not mean "making fun of somebody while they are in it for the joke". Bullying does not mean "giving harsh but constructive criticism". Bullying does not mean "questioning the validity of your arguments in an open conversation",

Bullying means being beat up with floorball sticks by the guys of your class during PE. Bullying means touching and commenting inappropriately on your developing pre-pubescent body in dressing rooms. Bullying means finding out the exact pathway you take to go back home from school only to stalk you in your private property of your own apartment complex. Bullying means manipulating your feelings and taking advantage of your childlike naiveté to later host smear campaigns online by dirtying your legal name and likeness with untrue claims and accusations.

And that, my Friends, is what we call-

ABUSE.

Validating your trauma,

ichigonya 

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CHAPTER 7: VALID – END