Stop Taking What's Ours

 A big part of my trauma invalidation has consisted of other people exploiting the word meant to describe the abuse I went through and by extension making it almost impossible for me to be taken seriously as a victim. Because of how generally unknown the actual definition of the word is, it's very easy to just take it and use it however you want to. This is one of the reasons awareness and education on bullying is so important and should be a mandatory inclusion in the curriculum of basic education at the very least. Because when you don't know what a word means, it's very easy to misuse it, y'know?

While I do understand where this level of ignorance is coming from most of the time, I still think it is necessary to hold these people accountable for their actions. It is their words that make the entire thing look like a joke to so many outsiders, because they use it in situations where they want to personally benefit from the concept of bullying somehow. This conversation is obviously extremely nuanced and complicated, but in the context of exploitative language and trauma invalidation, I think this argument is crucial. 

be so for real.

Exploiting the emotional impact of a descriptor of abuse for the sake of playing the martyr in a victimless situation is selfish and problematic. When there is no abuse happening, using language meant for describing abuse lessens the real impact of the word in every other situation as well, rendering it almost useless in its original intended purpose. You can think about the way PTSD and its symptoms get exploited in online rhetoric in this context as well.

Someone being mean to you once is not them bullying you. Stop calling it that. Someone giving you negative but justified and appropriate feedback is not them bullying you. Stop calling it that. Granted, I can't change the way people use their own lingo, but I am imploring you to at least consider it.

When I was a Kid and really struggling to understand what was happening around me and what made me feel so terrible every single day, I didn't even know what to call it. I was aware of the b-word (or the Finnish equivalent of it), but because of constant misuse of the word and the complete lack of education and awareness on the phenomenon itself, I didn't feel justified in calling what I was going through "bullying". I remember feeling confused, because it seemed to me that the word had two completely separate meanings, one of them being funny and one of them being mean, and I just didn't know which one of them I was experiencing, because my Friends kept telling me it was "all a joke" and laughing about it, but I wasn't laughing, I was crying.

So which one is it?

Or are there even two different meanings to the word? Are they both the same? Is it all just a joke? I don't know anymore. 

Dazed,

ichigonya