Trauma Doesn't Make You Stronger

 You're on Instagram, mindlessly scrolling down your Explore page without really focusing on anything you're seeing on the screen. Until, when one of those TikTok rip-off reels somehow succeeds at capturing your attention. You click the video open. There's a young teenager, filming themself with their phone. They're wearing some type of cosplay costume, they've done their makeup, they even have a wig on. The kid is smiling, they look really happy. They step away from the camera so that you can see the entire costume they're wearing. They twirl around, making the poor quality skirt fly in the air. The kid faces the camera again, puffs their cheeks and does a cat-like pose with their hands.  A short text appears right in the middle of the screen. It says, " I can't believe I'm finally cosplaying her! This is a dream come true ^__^<3<3" You smile and press the heart next to the video. The video has 50 likes, but the amount of comments it has...

 The role language plays in my life has always been a bit bigger than the average Joe's. My passion for language started as soon as I learned how to read, which happened at a very young age because my parents were both Finnish and literature teachers and massive bookworms. Reading was something we all did a lot in my family, and my parents always had at least one book that they were reading at that time. Hundreds of books, huge bookcases...I was brought up in an environment where stories and language were constantly visible in my everyday life.  As I started going to school, I soon realized that the one subject I loved the most out of all of them was Finnish and literature. I loved reading and writing stories and learning about the language, the grammar and the structure of sentences, all of the 15 grammatical cases that Finnish has. My language is quite complex in its grammar, but I was intrigued and extremely curious to learn more every single day. Since then, language in ge...

 It took me a really long time to figure out what was wrong with me. For several years, I've had a constant nagging feeling that something's bothering me, something's hurting me, but it was really hard to pinpoint the origin of that feeling or what it even meant. Since the year 2017, I've experienced a variation of mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and unexplainable terror. I tried thinking back on my past and figure out of that had anything to do with the way I was feeling, but I wasn't able to make a connection between the two for one very specific reason. It was just bullying, and bullying doesn't traumatize you in the same way domestic or sexual abuse does. Even today, I feel like I'm not necessarily stuck on the things people have said and done to me. I'm not thinking about what happened to me all the time. But when it comes to bullying and what kind of effects it can had on the bullied kid, we usually talk about poor self-estee...

 Recently, I created a Twitter account for my art project I have been working on for the past few months. I used to be really active on Twitter about eight years ago, and since then, I have not used the platform at all. It felt weird going back, but I think Twitter is way better of a platform for what I'm doing now than Instagram. For more information about the art project itself, read the page "Death On A Paper" Art Project. My Twitter handle is @deathonapaper as well. I am only starting things out, and for the most part, I feel like I don't even know what I want to do. I know what I am doing, as of right now, but where I want all of this to lead...of that I have no idea. I am stumbling through a dark corridor, feeling up the walls and looking for a light switch. Now, when I have no lights with me, the journey is quite scary, and it makes me anxious. But I am sure that eventually, I will find that light switch, and at least one lamp will light up in the dark corrido...

 Something you hear a lot as you grow up is that you should never stop dreaming. Usually, when someone brings up the topic "when you grow up, what do you want to be", there's always someone else who has had that same goal in their mind since they were four years old, and they have never wanted to do anything else in their life, and they go, "never let go of your dreams, because you'll never know if you don't even try". That sentiment in itself is completely fine, and I agree with it because I have no reason not to. It is true that you should always reach for the things you're dreaming of, no matter how outlandish they might seem, because there's nothing to lose in that situation. Trying has never hurt anyone, it has only brought them joy. So yes, have the courage to dream and to hold on to your dreams, no matter how old or young you are, because one day, they might come true. Whenever someone is talking about dreams, I feel uneasy. It's not b...

 Hello, everyone. This is my first official post on this blog, the beginning of a journey that will hopefully go on a bit longer than just a few weeks. I actually have a pretty extensive history in blogging: I used to have a very active blog here about eight years ago, but then I made the biggest mistake you can make as a writer and deleted all of the posts without having a backup just in case. Although, in retrospect, that might have been a blessing in disguise as now I am starting anew, and I would've hated to have any gross remains of my weird lower secondary years following me around. As a recap, here's some basic information about me: I'm from Finland, I was born on January 17th 2000, my pronouns are they/she, I am a raging homosexual, and I have borderline personality disorder. As of right now, I am choosing to remain anonymous and using my online nick "ichigonya" as an alias. That might change at some point, but only time will tell.  This blog is for storie...